'(Andy Samberg, "Jorma Taccone")' "Welcome back to Sports Chat I'm standing here with two fellas who are Having a heck of a year, the Bash Brothers At this point, guys, I think everyone knows who you are But just in case, why don't you introduce yourselves?" Oh, okay, well (Andy Samberg, "Akiva Schaffer") They call me José "And I'm Mark" José "And I'm Mark" Go, José, go, oiled up like Rambo "Take the needle out my butt and hop in the Lambo" The anabolics got me feelin' bionic 'Cause you know I'm indestructible I'm José, "I'm Mark" You're a stud, "and you're a thoroughbred stallion" Necks laced up with the let's bash medallion "Rollin' to Hilltop Mall to get a pager Got girls of every flavor because we're in the majors" Freaks, hit up my Skytel, I'll come mess up your Maybelline My beeper beeping more than my dialysis machine "Kidney failure's just part of the game" We're not ashamed now the world knows my motherfucking name (Andy Samberg, "Akiva Schaffer") They call me José "And I'm Mark" José "And I'm Mark" Canseco, can make the hoes go low Slow mo for your bro and (?)(1:16) Nineteen-eighty-ocho the year of the lobo The whole Bay love me cause' I'm so bolo "Speeding though San Fran" Got a pass from the po-po Pumpin' my andros then wash 'em down with SoCo "Try and touch my cherry curls I'll put you in a chokehold Hit the Taco Bell and drop the extra guacamolo" Hotbox the whole Lambo with pakalolo "And teach me that taekwondo, though" Well step into my dojo Cocaine fists cave your nose hole "They don't know, though We like Samwise and Frodo" But also like Dorothy and Toto "But way more swole, bro" Our bodies are loco, that's why they're chanting (Andy Samberg, "Akiva Schaffer") José (José! José! José!) "And I'm Mark" José (José! José! José!) "My name is Mark McGwire, I play first base" (Andy Samberg, "Akiva Schaffer") They call me José (José, José, José) ("And I'm Mark, And I'm Mark And I'm Mark") "And I'm Mark" José ("And I'm Mark, I'm Mark") "And I'm M-m-m-m-Mark"
Writer(s): Akiva Schaffer, Andrew Samberg, Jesse Shatkin