'(Andy Samberg, "Akiva Schaffer", "'Both"')' Walk in the party with my dick in my hand Then straight to the bathroom with my dick in my hand "You wanna step up? I got the brick in my hand" Then leave your ass face down with my dick in my hand "I'm Mark McGwirey, buff not wirey Alex P. Keaton is who I admirey" And I know that it's true, 'cause I read it in your diary Your spirit, your bat, and your crotch, "'all fiery Bash Brothers, fast lovers We be fuckin' faster than chattering teeth Chattering teeth We're two little Jack rabbits fucking in our cleats"' "All you silly billy big ol' titty biddies Wanna see my willy-dilly vibing me willy-nilly" And we getting silly honeys but I don't mean silly funny Snow bunny, city bunny, even Ms. McGillicuddy "And we're making silly money" While you play with silly putty "Then I'm bashing with my buddy" And I'm bashing with my buddy "Wearing fashion with my buddy" Playing saxes with my buddy "Snorting a relaxant" While evading taxes with my buddy (Andy Samberg, "Akiva Schaffer", "'Both"') I'm a gladiator ("I'm a gladiator") My body's a machine ("My body's a machine") I hit home runs ("I hit home runs") 'Cause I'm focused as fuck Where is the limit? ("There are no limits") And what is the goal? ("To make dad love me") To make dad love me ("To make dad love me") "'To make dad finally love me!"' (Andy Samberg, "Akiva Schaffer") I got 100 cardboard cutouts of Kathy Ireland all in one room I run through that shit naked make Them all watch me fuck myself with a broom Oh, Kathies, all my Kathies You're the only ones that know my pain And you're the only ones that see my shame "Hey yo, Jose Come on, man, we're late for the game!"
Writer(s): Jeremy Coleman, Andrew Samberg, Akiva Schaffer