LyricsThree Minute Song - Late Late…

Tim Minchin

Last update on: July 10, 2019
No translations availableNo translations available
We detected some issues
If you found mistakes, please help us by correcting them.

Clock! (Click) My people rang me up a couple of weeks ago

Yeah, I've got people, and a phone, and a grasp on the passage of time Yeah, they rang me up, said "Tim, will you go on The Late Late Show? They want you to sing a song, baby; it'll be fine, fine, fine" But the problem with my particular oeuvre Is that half my songs are five minutes and over And the theory here at RTE Is that viewers switch off if you go past three And a lot of my songs have a bit of bad language Which causes the viewers untold anguish It seems their tolerance for smuttiness is reserved For pussy puns on 'Are You Being Served'. And so I... Need a song that only goes for three minutes Without no bums or blasphemy in it A lovely little ditty for the delicate asses Of the innocent Irish lads and lasses I need a song with a chor us and a verse Without no nasty cussing and a-cursing I'm a little too lewd and a little too long I gotta write myself a three minute song And they said "Remember, boys, that music is like lovemaking It's simply self-indulgent to take it past three minutes. Remember, boy, that music is like lovemaking Everybody loves a pianist but length must have a limit So you Need a song that only goes for three minutes Without no pornography or politics in it We're not quite sure if our viewers will cope If you say 'prick' or 'poop' or 'pope' Three hundred beats at a hundred beats a minute With nice clean jokes and a hoe-down in it You're a little verbose and a little bit wrong You gotta find yourself a clean-living three minute song" And even in the bridge I won't be lyrically adventurous Conceptually offensious Or racially contentious And I won't make double entendres At the expense of the Chinese For China is a country that can bring me to my knees For China For China For China For China For China is a country that will bring us to our knees Ooh Mr Humphreys, my pussy is all wet a-ha-ha-ha-ha Two, three, fore skin I need a little happy-clappy country song Nice and repetitive and not too long Boring enough but not too boring With a key change here to prevent me snoring I need a song that is only three minutes Without no buggery or blasphemy in it Something with a pleasing rhyme and rhythm Well if you can't beat 'em, get conservative with 'em PIANO SOLO I need a song that's suitable for RTE So I can flog more copies of my DVD By pretending for a while that musical satire Hasn't progressed since Victor Borge You've got a telly and I wanna be on it And apparently you'll only watch for three minutes Don't touch your knob I'll be done in three minutes

No translations availableNo translations available
  • 0

Last activities

Musixmatch for Spotify and
Apple Music is now available for
your computer

Download now