There′s a million ways to die inside a Bowser castle! A million ways to fail! You can fall on spikes or drown in some lava,
Ride skull trains that derail! There's a million ways to die inside a Bowser castle! By Thwomp or Rocky Wrench! Rebounding Koopa shell! A magic spell! A lift that fell! Conveyor belt! A pipe above a Muncher-filled trench! You might get crushed or burned or hit with a fish! You may get squashed or bitten by a Boo! You may be Hammered, bro, or greeted by five hundred Lakitu! You may slip on ice, be shot in the face, Or simply sprung off a ledge in mid-jump! Despite how hard you may try, It′s sure that you'll die! From blocks and from Bills and a Blooper that flies! That's why a Million ways to die reside in Bowser′s Castle! Like saws and fire chains! A walking bomb! A stack of towering Dry Bones! That time you went insane! And every trap you find inside of any Bowser castle Creates a lethal maze! Beware this Super Star, this Koopa Car, this bratty baby Troopa czar! It′s quite the fiendish hastle to Survive in Bowser's castle due To every castle′s killing you a mill-ion ways! "WHO IS MAKING THESE LEVELS?!"