APRIL, KATHY, MARTA: Doo-doo-doo-doo! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo! You could drive a person crazy, You could drive a person mad. First you make a person hazy So a person could be had, Then you leave a person dangling sadly Outside your door, Which could only make a person gladly Want you even more. I could understand a person If it's not a person's bag. I could understand a person If a person was a fag. But worse 'n that, A person that Titillates a person and then leaves her flat Is crazy, He's a troubled person, He's a truly crazy person himself. KATHY: When a person's personality is personable, He should not sit like a lump. It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull To try to get you off of your rump. So single and attentive and attractive a man Is everything a person could wish, But turning off a person is the act of a man Who likes to pull the hooks out of fish. APRIL, KATHY, MARTA: Knock-knock! Is anybody there? Knock-knock! It really isn't fair. Knock-knock! I'm workin' all my charms. Knock-knock! A zombie's in my arms. All that sweet affection! What is wrong? Where's the loose connection? How long, O Lord, how long? Bobby-baby-Bobby-bubbi-Bobby, You could drive a person buggy, You could blow a person's cool. Like you make a person feel all huggy While you make her feel a fool. When a person says that you upset her, That's when you're good. You impersonate a person better Than a zombie should. I could understand a person If he wasn't good in bed. I could understand a person If he actually was dead. Exclusive you! Elusive you! Will any person ever get the juice of you? You're crazy, You're a lovely person, You're a moving, Deeply malajusted, Never to be trusted, Crazy person yourself. Bobby is my hobby and I'm givin' it up!
Writer(s): Sondheim Stephen